Happy Holidays DateSpacers! We hope you’ve all recovered from your Thanksgiving tryptophan-induced comas. Before we know it, we may find ourselves under the mistletoe with that special someone. Coincidentally, Rob from Long Beach sends us this query: “I’m going on a really important first date this week. So when it’s time for the first kiss, how can I make sure it’s not awkward?”
You came to the right place. We’re going to share the secret of a smooth first kiss…and make you look and feel like James Bond while doing it!
Remember in Hitch, where Will Smith teaches Kevin James all about kissing his gal at her front door? Good. Forget it.
The truth is that you shouldn’t be waiting until the end of the date to kiss the girl in the first place. A great kiss always feels like “it just happened” or it was “the right moment”. Rob, it never “just happens” and there is no “right moment.” It will appear that way if you plan it right.
There is a natural progression to a comfortable, confident kiss that happens the same way every time. Think about your past experiences when it really felt right. You were probably laughing with each other and touching each other in a playful way. At some point you probably held hands or played the American Pastime known as footsie. Then “it just happened”. There was that electric moment where each of you froze for a moment, looked into each other’s eyes and went for it. It was comfortable because you unwittingly made all the right moves beforehand. You were funny and playful. You were confident and held her hand without a thought of being rejected, maybe even put your arm around her waist.
Now think of a time where the first kiss felt awkward or didn’t happen at all because you blew it (don’t worry, Rob, we’ve all been there before). You were probably a complete gentleman. You didn’t even consider thumb-wrestling (an underrated way to get touchy-feely), or poking her in the arm. If you did hold hands, it felt weird and forced. You were too nervous to put your arm around her waist and get close. After you paid for dinner and a movie, you walked her back to her place and said, “Well…here we are. I had a great time. I’ll call you.” Then you waited…and waited. It didn’t happen. Why? You weren’t confident and she could smell it from a mile away.
Touch her early. Touch her often. Be less like Hitch and more like Indiana Jones on a date. Remember how Indy would say something completely arrogant and then kiss the girl and she would fake like she was mad and then passionately kiss back? Don’t overdo it, but be that guy. Here’s a secret technique that we’ve never shared with anyone (in public at least). We call it “The Pillow Game”. It works with pillows, popcorn, or anything you can use as an imaginary line. Let’s say you’re sitting on your couch about to watch a movie. You take 2 pillows and put them between you and say, “Ok, now that’s your side and this is my side. No touching allowed. If you try to come across the line, you’ll pay for it.” After about 30 seconds, she will try to touch you, or poke you, or tickle you, or whatever. Be strong. Never fall for it the first time. Say confidently (but playfully), “I told you, stay on your side. Don’t make me warn you again”. Hopefully, she’ll do it again. Tickle fight ensues. You both freeze for a moment and look into each other’s eyes. Lean in and KISS HER. We can’t stress this enough. She will not reject you if you follow the directions. Remember, don’t be Kevin James, be Harrison Ford. Go forth and smooch. And hey, during this holiday season, if you have some mistletoe handy, that won’t hurt either.
Tell us some of your best first kiss strategies in the comments below.
