Happy second day after Super Bowl, DateSpacers. Before we reveal the question of the week, let’s take a moment for story time, Super Bowl cautionary tale style. Imagine a new couple, both die-hard New York Giants fans, watching the Super Bowl together. They laugh at the commercials and they share a plate of the spinach dip served in a loaf of sourdough bread. They tell the story of how they met to all their friends and family. They watch Tom Petty perform at halftime and try to figure out just how the hell he got that gig in the first place. Then the fourth quarter comes. The Giants are driving down the field when Eli throws his last-minute, game-winning TD pass to Plax. The crowd erupts, the party jumps out of their chairs, and the man grabs his new girlfriend and in a moment of sports-induced passion yells for the first time ever, “I LOVE YOU!!!” She responds, “Ummm…I love you too?” She then proceeds to bolt out of the party faster than Bill Belichick ran off the field. Game over.

Our question this week comes from Shannon in Deer Park. In a nutshell, she would like to know, “When is the appropriate time to say ‘I Love You’ for the first time?” Shannon, we hope you read our tale of what NOT to do. In case you missed it, the point of that story was to not blurt out those words in a moment of passion, but wait until they are well-thought out and heartfelt for the right reasons. Before you drop the L-bomb on an unsuspecting beau, ask yourself two important questions: Is this really love, or just lust? Do I miss him when he’s gone?

Let’s spend a moment on the question of love vs. lust. Our Super Bowl story is an example of things being said in the heat of the moment, when emotions are running high. In the first stage of any relationship, there is a rush of emotions and chemicals running through both people and it’s easy to become enamored to the point of obsession with the object of your affection. This is NOT the right time to just call a la Stevie Wonder. It’s just lust talking. Shannon, you want to wait until the initial rush of hormones has worn off a bit and you’re thinking more clearly.

How long is that, you ask? That brings us to question number two. Do you miss him when he’s gone? In other words, do you want to see him more than once a week? Three times a week? After that initial surge has died down, you will begin to think with a clear head and figure out what you really want out of the relationship. A good checkpoint is the three month mark. Do you still miss him when he’s gone for a few days or do you wish he would get out and spend more time with his drinking buddies? If your answer is the former, then you’re on the right path.

Some use the analogy that a loving relationship is like fire. At first it rages out of control, but eventually it begins to smolder with red hot embers keeping it alive. When you realize you’re immersed the embers and your feelings are just as hot as in the beginning of your relationship (only more controlled and less likely to burn your house down), then and only then may you consider dropping the L-bomb. If you’re riding in the car with him and Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called To Say I Love You” comes on and he turns it up…that’s a good sign that the time is right too.

Here’s some similar advice from Coopyrite.net. And another article breaks down how to make the right decision. AOL has a fun video of various “I love you” stories - listen to them and figure out which relationship you are.

Any advice for our readers on advice for when to say “I love you”? Post it below.