It is a fact of life that the unknown often frightens us. Tourney Time makes this abundantly clear. We toss and turn late at night wondering: Will the one seeds prevail? Did I pick the right upsets? Will Tim, that self-satisfied jerk in accounting with the fraternity stein at his desk and the over-applied Old Spice Pure Sport and the compensatingly-”firm” handshake win the damn pool again?
As we’ve seen time and time again, the dating world is no different—what we don’t know strikes fear in our hearts. This, of course, is why we find the infamous Blind Date so terrifying. We question. We doubt. We anticipate. We suffer. David from Oceanside sums it up nicely: “I hate blind dates. What can I do to make them less awkward and more fun?”
Don’t despair, David. Here are four tips to take the blind-date edge off:
1. Do your homework. If you’re being set up with your blind date by mutual friends, find out something about him/her. We’re not suggesting a security-clearance background check, just a few descriptors (e.g., entertaining, quiet, militant, hairy, etc.) Just get a sense of what you’ll be working with, if you can. You’ll likely feel more at ease going into it. Try to keep an open mind, though—you never really know how you’ll relate to someone till you give it a shot. Isn’t that the point of dating, after all?
2. Pick a familiar place. If you get the chance to choose where to go, take it. Pick a DateSpace (hey, that’s the name of the Web site!) you’re familiar with—it’ll give you one (or perhaps one hundred) less thing to worry about. If you’re comfortable with your surroundings, you’ll be more present and less preoccupied. Rather than worrying about whether the bistro’s pesto will send you into anaphylactic shock because it’s made with walnuts instead of pine nuts, you can focus on the reason you’re there in the first place. What’s more, if you’re familiar with the place, you’ll have something to talk about—and may even look like an expert (“I hear the palak paneer is excellent,” or, “This place used to be a linen warehouse.”) Just refrain from any anecdotes that begin, “The last time I took a date here…”
3. Have an exit strategy. Save a “select” few, we all recognize the importance of having a viable way out of a sticky situation. This is especially critical for a blind date. Not only does it come in handy when you actually do want to flee the scene, having an exit strategy gives you peace of mind whether you choose to exercise it or not. Research has shown that people are more relaxed in situations from which they know they can escape. So, whatever your method (emergency tonsillectomy is one of our favorites—you can’t answer their follow-up phone calls if you can’t talk,) have a way out up your sleeve so you don’t feel trapped.
4. Treat it like a game show (Big Bucks, No Whammies!) Just one more way to ditch some of the worry. The philosophy is this: you came in with nothing, so play to win and you’ll at least end up with some sort of consolation prize (“Contestants not appearing on stage will receive this cardboard carton of eggplant parmesan leftovers, courtesy of…”) One of the advantages of the blind date is that you’re not too invested. Procuring a date with someone you know is sometimes the result of careful planning, patience, and tact—leaving you feeling like you have a lot to lose. Here, you have a shot at something that you didn’t put in an ounce of effort for in the first place. Pretty sweet, really. So be yourself, take a risk, go for it. We’ll be rooting for you!
