Due to our ever-growing readership, we’ve decided to bring back a few oldies but goodies from our vault of advice. Here’s one that we just heard about that happened to a friend of us with one of his relationships turning into a friendship. Here’s our take.

Good morning, faithful readers. Here’s a question from one of you New York City dwellers out there who needs some of our patented dating advice.

Jeremy from Park Slope sent us this query: “After a few of what I thought were dates, I just heard from yet another attractive
girl that they think of me ‘like a brother.’ This is ridiculous! What can I do to avoid the dreaded ‘Friend Zone’?”

Ah, yes. “Let’s just be friends.” Perhaps the most dreaded string of words in the English language. Of course, sometimes, you may be delighted to hear this little phrase if you’re looking for an exit strategy, or you do actually want to meet a new friend, but more often than not, we strive to steer clear of its awful semantic meaning.

Jeremy, the way to avoid being “just friends” is to make your intentions clear from the outset. We’re not giving you a green light to grope your date, but there’s a way to increase your flirt-meter.

You can flirt in two ways - with gestures and with words. Let’s start with gestures first. The two most important bodily centers are your eyes and your hands. Everyone knows that the less you know a person, the less you’re going to look that person in the eye when you talk. So make a concerted effort to avoid this pitfall and you’re off to a very good start. Think about all your first kisses. Didn’t you stare at the person in the eye deeply for several seconds before leaning in?

Your hands are your next most valuable tool. No, not in that way, you perv. Use them to playfully touch your date at any opportunity. If your date says something funny, touch your date on the shoulder and laugh together. Point out things to your date by lightly bouncing your hand off your date’s knee before directing your finger to the sight in question. Increasing bodily contact early on in the interaction is a surefire way to establish the intention that you want to be more than just friends.

And one last little secret. Aaaaah! We can’t believe we’re about to give this away! Drawing your partner’s line of vision to one erogenous zone in particular, the mouth, is a great way to initiate a kiss. Try rubbing your forefinger along your lower lip while you’re listening to what your date has to say. Your date’s eyes will inevitably follow your finger. And if you want to try something a little more obvious, slowly lick your lips during pauses in the conversation. We know, it sounds a little strange. But give it a try sometime and see if you make yourself clear. But as always, we say: Dateat Emptor (dater beware) - use these tactics only in moderation!

How do you avoid “the friend zone”? What are some of your best strategies on dates? Post them below.