Here’s a question from one of our own staff members, who was curious about a simple, old-time tradition: should you bring flowers on a first date? Ponder that one for a while.

Done pondering? Good. The short answer is no. While the gesture is sweet and she’ll probably think, initially, that you’re a pretty classy dude, inevitably one or more of the following three thoughts will pop into her head:

1) This gesture is a little forward/creepy/cheesy/desperate/early-20th-century.

2) The bouquet definitely makes me feel special, but does he do this with everyone?

3) I can’t believe I have to hold these flowers with me for the rest of the night!

So you see, overall, there’s going to be a net negative. The only time it would really be acceptable to give flowers on a first date is if there were some justifiable reason behind the act. For example, perhaps the first date is with someone who recently moved to the city, and if you’re picking her up at her apartment (which is pretty rare anyway for a first date, unless you’ve known each other for some time), you can give the gift of flowers and use the “it’s a housewarming gift” excuse. On a second or third date as things get more serious, then a gift is perfectly appropriate and will usually reap positive results (see our post on gift-giving, which gives you a better idea when to give that special someone a special something). And in these instances, flowers are particularly fruitful, because every time she looks at them, she’ll think of you. Just make sure you tell her to cut the stems at a 45 degree angle before she puts them in water!

If you do decide to bring a bouquet, here’s a super-helpful guide on picking the right breeds and colors to fit your relationship perfectly. Yelp has a debate on this very subject. And sharpman.com has some great suggestions.