Here at DateSpaces HQ, there are some questions to which we can’t agree about an answer. So we got two of our staffers (one female, one male) to argue it in a feature we call: the Date Debate.

Our latest query: long distance dating. Is it worth the effort?

Stephanie says: I’ve always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. My heart flutters at the sight of red roses. I live for proclamations of love shouted from rooftops or while running through the pouring rain. I like the possibility that “the one” could be sitting next to me on the subway or offering to buy me a drink (yes, even then).

But thinking that a long-distance relationship is possible? Get real!

When I was in college I spent five months in Europe. On my first night there, during dinner with the other students in my program, the topic of relationships came up. When I announced that I had a boyfriend back home, the general reaction was, “Oh my God, why?!”

Well, because I was young, naïve, and dumb. I assumed that many, many e-mails and instant messages, and the occasional phone call would almost be the same as seeing the person everyday, as had been the case back home.

It wasn’t even close.

When you’re not face to face with your love you can miss out on those subtle social cues that say a lot more than words alone – the forced smile that indicates he or she is more upset than letting on, the glimmer of happiness in his or her eye. And a phone call can’t substitute for the security of the “I’m-so-sorry-you’re-having-a-bad-day” embrace. Eventually, the distance, at least if it’s for a long time, can break down the close emotional and physical bond that you both put so much time and effort building. You deal with the loneliness by taking up new friends and activities or even falling for someone else.

The bottom line? Distance does not make the heart grow fonder; it just makes it more, well, distant.

Charles says: Dating over distance is one of the hardest things to do in the world, especially when you’re an ocean-length away.

But in the words of Project Runway’s guru Tim Gunn, make it work. If that special someone is worth it, then you can work it out.

Here’s what I mean: in some cases, there are relationships that are meant to be and there are those that aren’t. The test of a few months away from each other in the physical sense is obviously the hardest one. Here’s what I suggest: if the person isn’t six time zones away (let’s say it’s a Boston-NY distance), make some arrangements for visiting on certain weekends. Schedule time to talk almost every night, if you can. Go out and purchase a webcam just to see each other’s face. Have an understanding that there are some nights when you’ll be busy (especially when you’re abroad, there’s so much to explore and do) and vice versa. Don’t expect for there to be the same kind of relationship, but as long as everyone’s on the same page as far as expectations, that will keep things going for the distance, temporary or otherwise.

That’s not to say that Steph’s situation didn’t have any of that. I’m making the point that you can’t throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater (ocean water?) before you give it a try.