“Dear” DateSpacers,

We’re insulted by the number of entrants into our “Stimulate Your Love Life” contest (0). What an ungrateful lot! We hope you’re happy. What the hell are we supposed to do with 500 “Stimulate This” slap bracelets? Recreate Wang Chung’s “Dance Hall Days” music video and substitute a slap bracelet for the bejeweled gold coil bracelet in the original (2:05)? Well, it doesn’t look as cool as you would think, so try again!

There will be consequences. You can count on it. We may just have to stop having Thursdates contests.

What’s that? You think that’s an empty threat? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet! We’ll show you an empty threat! Just you wait…*

1. DateSpace of the Week**
User Sue says she and her “Bo” had a great time at Juvenex. We’re assuming she means Bo Jackson. We’ve never been, but if Bo knows it, it has to be good.

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater
Another Daily Dater Double Dose this week! First we discuss how to tell your flame that you have a kid. Suggestion: if you’re dating a 40-year-old virgin, try telling him at a Japanese hibachi steakhouse. It worked for Catherine Keener, and she was a grandma! (Make sure you order plenty of Buddha punch.)

Next, H.C. Ingram provides some insight as to how to tell your friend to break up with someone. The gist: proceed with caution and only if you’re really close. For the full column, click here.

Send your dating queries and conundrums our way by emailing charles@datespaces.com.

Love (we guess),

The DateSpaces.com Team
XOXOX

*This week’s contest: Count the empty threats in this email. “Don’t Try to Change Me” Hypercolor t-shirts for all entrants with correct answers (also available in “My Love is Thermochromic”).
**Last week’s DateSpace of the Week, La Tour, has closed. *tear*