Believe it or not, DateSpacers, we secretly had a pool betting on when we’d receive this one. Let’s just say that it took longer than we expected, so congratulations to one of our group, who is $50 richer.

A user pleading anonymity wrote us the following, “I’m a 20-year-old virgin who just started what looks to be a seriously relationship and I think me and my girl are going to do the deed soon. I’m nervous about being good at it, especially because I know she’s really really experienced with this and because she knows I’ve never done it. What should I do?”

Well, Senor Anonymous, we here at DateSpaces always have one word for situations like this:

RE

LAX.

Ok, we lied. It was one word. But the lesson’s the same (we talked about keeping it casual last week and said to take the pressure off here and here). Our general philosophy is for you to relax, keep things casual until you’ve gotten to a point where things in a relationship can get more formal and defined and for dating to be fun.

Anon, here are your Do’s and Don’ts for your upcoming big night:

Don’t worry about her experience. It’s a good thing. If this is indeed going to be a long-lasting relationship, then let her take the reins and show you a thing or two. Enjoy it. Once you’ve started with the basics, you can try a few different things with her and see what you both enjoy. Everyone’s gotta have a first time, right? So it’s almost better than one’s the tour guide in familiar territory.

Do make it special. We don’t mean, “light scented candles all over your room and sprinkle rose petals on the bed” (though, for you married folks, that’s always special). We just mean that this shouldn’t be an exercise in losing your virginity where you do it and that’s that. It should be romantic. Beyond your first time, it’s your first time with someone with whom you are starting a possible relationship. Think of it that way and act accordingly, especially right afterwards.

Don’t think too much… It’s never helped anyone in this situation and never will. Just go for it and take the plunge.

…But do remember what worked and what didn’t. No, don’t take notes or anything like that. Just know that everyone is different in terms of what they want, physically. If there’s something you both enjoy, it certainly won’t hurt to do it the same way again the next time.

Good luck, Mr. Anon. We’ll be rooting for you. How about an update when it’s done?

For further articles on this subject (surprisingly, there aren’t a ton for guys!), click here.