It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows throughout my relationship before getting hitched. I’ve made a bunch of mistakes too. In the interest of preventing the same in your romantic dealings, here’s something I learned the hard way.

About five months into the relationship, a friend of mine invited us to his annual wine tour. I wondered what could go wrong with inviting my girlfriend, a title we had just recently agreed on. I envisioned a weekend spent in the sun, acting like I knew a thing or two about the complex flavors in a pinot noir, joking around with friends and a night spent away from it all afterwards. She would get to know my friends and vice versa, and we’d spend a nice weekend together.

Not so much. Here’s problem number one: turns out my friends who invited their friends, who were more into the idea of getting plastered than tasting wine, which in turn led to some crazy behavior, which in turn spoiled the romantic atmosphere. Oops. And while my pals did get to hang out with my sweetie and chat, having to do so while under the serious influence of a buttery chardonnay or five was not conducive to fascinating topics. Double oops. Add that to the fact that we didn’t stay in a hotel that night and instead crashed on a friend’s floor on an air mattress. Strike three. She spent the car ride back in complete silence, which I knew meant that she wasn’t exactly pleased with the weekend. At least I got something right.

The most important lesson, however, is in the biggest error: this was our first weekend away together. We were both living with our parents and didn’t get to see each other that often. The chance to get an entire weekend to ourselves was rare at the time. Later on, we’d make stops in Newport and the North Fork of Long Island (ironically, a beautiful place to taste wine!), but my plea with readers is to make your first trip away one without your pals. I’d also throw out a number for the amount of months before inviting your significant other on a trip with your friends: Twelve, especially if she hasn’t gotten to know them that well yet.

That said, I hear Napa’s beautiful this time of year…