We’re proud to announce a new addition to the DateSpaces family: an advice column for the men. Our anonymous writer comes to us from Online Dating Matches. Check his site out and keep coming back for more Man Made advice.

Having a hard time scoring a date online? Chances are it has something to do with your online dating profile. Unless you look like Justin Bobby or have a bank account like Mark Cuban, you are going to have to rely on something other than your looks to get a date online.

When it comes to online dating profiles, men tend to look at one thing and one thing only when deciding on whether or not to contact a female: their pictures. If she’s hot, send her an email. If she’s not, pass. Women on the other hand tend to actually read the profiles of the guys that contact them. Ask yourself….out of the last 5 girls you contacted, which ones did you take the time to completely read their profile and not skim through? Chances are not many…

This is why it is so critical that you design your online dating profile so that it attracts and keeps the attention of the females you wish to attract. Most women nowadays realize that they aren’t going to get a guy that looks like Justin Bobby (or has 700 billion dollars), so your only real competition online are the thousands of other “Joe the Plumbers” that have joined the same online dating service as you. If you aren’t the type to be worried about competition, chew on this random fact:

In most online dating sites, men outnumber women 4 to 1.

So with all these available guys to choose from…..why is Jennifer Bini Taylor going to pick you?

Here are the elements of a successful online dating profile:

Good intro

An online dating profile is just like a commercial you see on t.v. If it doesn’t grab your attention within the first 3-5 seconds, you lose interest. Same goes for an online dating profile. Most online dating services allow you to put up an intro statement. This is usually no more than 15 words and it is your first chance to catch a girls eye. You can either go for something funny, or at the very least, an attempt at wit. Be careful though, as something that you might consider knee slapping funny, could be a total red flag to a girl looking at it. “I eat puppies for breakfast” might have been the punchline to a funny joke your buddy told you at a bar the night before…..but women sometimes tend to take things out of context (read: always). Then again, in this day and age I have had the pleasure of knowing women with foul mouths that could put a sailor to shame. Long story short, take your time in thinking of an intro, and look at it as a “hook” to get a girls attention.

Honesty/Personable

You should always be honest and objective in writing about yourself. Don’t say anything that you can’t back up within the first 3 dates. Eg: If you claim to “love to travel“, make sure this means travel in the sense of packing a suitcase and staying overnight. Otherwise the topic of conversation on your first date could turn to the places you have been….and you will be hard pressed to come up with an answer that doesn’t involve driving 10 miles to spend the night at Grandma’s house.

Showing personality is a great way to get women to take interest in you. If you look at the majority of the online dating profiles that guys create, it is usually the same old stuff.

“Hey, I’m a guy….blah blah blah….I like to have fun….blah blah blah…..looking for a girl that likes to have fun”.

Women get tired of reading the same old impersonal dribble. You want your profile to stand out from the rest. Although, you need to be careful….what you might consider “personality and humor” might be a red flag to some women.

The problem here lies within the fact that online dating profiles are essentially written words. You do not have the same visual and verbal cues that are normally associated with human conversation. So the “wink” that you would normally give to a girl in real life (after telling her a joke about the Lean Cuisine recall, which would give her a visual cue that you were joking) is completely lost in an online dating profile. So unless you consider yourself to be a living reincarnation of Wordsworth himself….stick to the basics.

If the English language and all its nuances fall far from your literary grasp, you can always “borrow” bits and pieces from another guys online dating profile. Plagiarism in an online dating profile is perfectly acceptable (Man rule: #2012). Just be sure to change the name to yours.

Rule of 300/250/50

This rule has been employed by many successful guys. The rule is simple:

Keep your profile no more than 300 words, with 250 of those words describing you. The last 50 words describe the type of woman that you are looking for. Simple enough? Go to any online dating site out there and pretend that you are a female looking for a guy your age. Browse a few of the profiles and you will see that some guys devote most of their time and space to talking about the type of woman they are looking for. Good…but not great. Why would a woman care about how in depth you are about the type of woman that you are looking for? Women want to read about YOU, not your idea of “the perfect girl”.

Pictures

Let’s face it. Chances are you aren’t a male model. Chances are you don’t have a 6 pack and a barrel chest. Chances are you are a bit overweight and a bit more balding. There are two schools of thought on this one…..some guys really don’t care what they look like and feel that women should accept them for who they are. As such they put up several clear photos of themselves from many different angles. Other guys who fall into the same “not a male model” boat are a bit more subconscious. They tend to not put up a photo at all, or perhaps they put up a photo of themselves that is less recent (read: 10 years old).

What is the right thing to do? It really depends on your level of self confidence. If you are proud of the way you look (regardless of whether society considers you one of the “beautiful people”) then by all means, let that beer belly hang out !! If on the other hand you think you aren’t as attractive as other guys then you can always put up a blurry or outdated pic and chance that the girl will fall so madly in love with your personality that she won’t even care that a group of Catholic nuns are lighting Jesus candles at your feet because the liver spots on your forehead look like a weeping Virgin Mary.

If you choose to be a bit “deceptive” with your photos or if you don’t consider yourself photogenic, try taking your digital camera and shooting yourself at 10 different angles. If you still can’t get the look you are looking for, try getting drunk and then taking a few pics. This way you might look a bit more relaxed.

Here are some online dating profile “DON’TS”:

* Don’t give off any red flags. Think before you speak. Think twice before you write, while you still have a chance.
* Don’t talk about past relationships. Nothing turns a girl off faster than hearing about your “ex”.
* Don’t make any off color jokes as women will take this as you being a psycho. Women are very concerned with security when it comes to online dating, so make sure that you don’t come off as some weirdo.
* Don’t write just to have “filler” in your online dating profile. Don’t say things like “I like to date girls that like to have fun”. No shit Sherlock…what girl doesn’t like to have fun? Stick to phrases and statements that are meaningful. Otherwise it looks like you really don’t give a crap.
* Don’t come off as needy. Don’t tell the world that you are looking for a girlfriend. Online, as in real life, women can smell desperation from 100 miles away. Keep it sweet and keep it simple. Light and breezy is the way to go.
* Don’t attempt humor unless you are actually funny. This means at some point in your adult life, someone other than your mother has told you: “Hey man, you’re kinda funny”. Nothing turns a girl off more than failure at humor. Sure some girls might think it’s a little cute, but the majority of them will only see you as a dork.

And finally…DON’T get discouraged when that cute chick you emailed, doesn’t bother to write you back. When it comes to online dating, the name of the game here is NUMBERS. Who knows why that hot chick didn’t take an interest in you? Maybe she didn’t like your age. Maybe she thinks your humor is stupid. Maybe she doesn’t like your level of education. Keep on keeping on and by playing the odds, sooner or later you will meet the girl of your dreams. Also keep in mind that new women every day join an online dating site. So this one wasn’t the one. The next one will be.

With millions and millions of people using any given online dating service in this day and age, it shouldn’t be that hard to find the person that you are looking for. With that in mind, design your online dating profile with success in mind. Realize that there are hundreds of other guys out there vying for the attention of the SAME girl that you thought was cute (and decided to send her a “wink” or email). Make your profile stand out from the rest of the pack. Choose your words wisely and in no time you will be finding yourself taking that same girl out on an unforgettable date.