Mr. Online Dating Matches is back with more tips for the lovelorn male reader. Click here for previous installments of Man Made.

Ever been out on a date with a girl that you really liked and then wondered if you would ever see her again? Ever get lucky enough to meet a girl out
on the street somewhere (that doesn’t charge $250 an hour) who gives you her
number?

Chances are that you have always wondered if there was some sort of secret
to calling a girl for the first time. To be brutally honest with you, the
answer is “no”. Each date you go out on, each new girl that you meet in a
bar is totally different than the last one you met. Take into consideration
the different circumstances in each situation and you can see why it is
impossible to come up with a definitive rule as to when to call her for the
first time.

Being that we are guys and our general war cry is: “If we can’t f*ck it,
then we fight it”, situations like calling a girl for the first time can
cause a bit of stress and aggravation.

Here is a simple outline to follow when calling a girl for the first time:

1. The original meet and greet.

Think back to when you first met the girl (be it at a bar or on the first
date). (Example #1) Did she give you any signs whatsoever that there would
be a second date? (Example #2)?. Or did she give you a little peck on the
cheek and told you to “call me sometime”?

That could be a clear indication that she wasn’t that interested in you. If
a female is interested in you, then she will make her intentions known.
Women realize that us guys are as dense as a rock and can’t pick up on the
little hints they drop?. So they (should) realize that they need to make it
very clear that they want a second date.

2. The “wait 1 day to call” rule

I can’t think of a more asinine rule out there. I wonder how many guys out
there have lost a chance at a second (or first) date with a girl because
they waited too long to call her back. This is not to say that you should
call her right away when you get home from the date?.you just need to play
it by ear. Think back to rule #1 and ask yourself: Would it be appropriate
for me to call her the next day (example #1) or should I wait a few days
(example #2). Here is a tip: If you think the date went off well, send
her a text message when you get home. In fact, she will probably be the one to send you a text message (what a great surprise!). In the text message simply state: “Hey “so and so” had a great time tonight and look forward to seeing you sometime soon!”
If she responds, then you might have a nice little text chat before bed.

The main point here is to look at the situation. Sure, women love to be dragged along a bit and love mystery, but women also love to follow their feelings and fall head over heels for a guy. My only advice is “make yourself available, but not too available”.

3. Think before you speak.

So you have grown some balls and made a quasi-educated guess as to when the
right time is to call her for the first time. Do you know what you are going to talk about during the phone call? Even though you may be a cunning
linguist and can carry on a conversation with the best of them?..there could be a chance that you get nervous and/or draw a blank. There is nothing worse that two people sitting on opposite ends of the phone with nothing to say going “umm, ahhh”.
Make a short list of abbreviated topics you can talk about, should the conversation lull a bit. Don’t write out a 100 page script, lest you sound insincere and contrite.

4. Is there anybody out there?

Doesn’t it just suck when you call a girl and she doesn’t answer her phone
and her voicemail pops up! What do you do? Hang up, even though she
probably has caller ID on her cell phone and will see that you called?.but didn’t leave a message (how rude!).

The best thing to do is to leave a short but sweet message. Don’t be too specific with your intentions and for God’s sake do not mumble on like some idiot and scare her off. Think: light and breezy.

Take these suggestions into consideration before you call a girl and you will save yourself the time and potential embarrassment of a phone call gone wrong. If all else fails, keep in mind that you are a guy, and as such guys do not call women unless we have something to say!! Whatever you do, do not call her “just to talk”. That is setting yourself up for failure and on the quick road to “let’s just be friends“. Women like mystery. They like to be kept on their toes and even if you aren’t too good at playing hard to get with women?..you can use the first few phone calls to set up the proper suspense and surprise. Just another tool in landing the woman of your dreams?.