Dear DateSpacers,
We apologize if we seem a little anxious, but who could blame us? Have you been following New Yorker contributor James Surowiecki’s commentary on the likelihood of a world without the print edition of the New York Times [also here]? The prospect is just terrifying. Without the print edition of the Times, how will we get through our Sunday hangovers? And what of all the smug college kids who subscribe so they can show their peers just how worldly they are? What’s to become of them and their form of literary conspicuous consumption? And what of the slogan, “All the news that’s fit to print”? Hello!?!
But the worst thing about losing the print newspaper would, without a doubt, be bidding adieu to the comics. There’s nothing funny about losing the funnies. Not only do newspaper comic strips offer entertainment from the side-splittingly hilarious (see: Family Circus*) to the deliciously enthralling (Apartment 3-G, anyone? Is there anything more tantalizing than blue hair?), but they also provide invaluable information.
How? If you want to learn a lot about a person–say, a new love interest–find out what comics he/she is into. “They can be tremendously revealing,” says Dr. Rocky N. Bolwienkell, professor of Sex and Comic Studies at Wossamotta University, “A quick scan of their refridgerator for cutouts of their favorite comics may tell you more about a potential mate than months of dating.”
Here’s what Dr. Bolwienkell says about some of the most popular strips in syndication:
1. Peanuts - The (Truly) Hopeless Romantic: A favorite of earnest, sincere people who–despite spells of melancholia–maintain a hopeful, if overambitious outlook. “Every lover of Peanuts has an enigmatic Little Red-Haired Girl to whom he is endearingly, yet hopelessly devoted.”
2. Calvin and Hobbes – The Don Quixote: Adored by those who are playful and imaginative (often inventive in the bedroom–though at times more interested in, say, building a pillow fort than in the Kama Sutra) but ultimately impossible to hold on to. “Sooner or later they favor their secret worlds of wonder to any romantic relationship,” warns Bolwienkell. Also, count on them to have a co-dependent, platonic relationship with a Best Bud, from whom they are inseparable.
3. Garfield – The Loafer: Good luck getting a Garfield lover out of the house. First loves: food and naps (and Pooky). Probably not a good bet if you’re at all enthusiastic about life, either. “The overeating, the lack of initiative, the agoraphobia–it’s all about self-esteem,” says Bolwienkell, “He [or she] will never love another until he learns to love himself.”
4. The Far Side – The Nerd: Far Siders are almost invariably smart, geeky, and impatient. “Their love of the single frame is an apt metaphor for their attention span and endurance.” May have a caveman, alien, or cow fetish.
5. Cathy – The Cathy: Run!
1. (A Very Special) DateSpace of the Week
Our DateSpace of the Week this week is Cafe des Artistes, “the beloved Upper West Side restaurant,” which, on Monday, January 12, “will recreate the menu featured in the 1987 Danish Film Babette’s Feast. The menu at Cafe des Artistes will feature such olde fare as tortoise soup, caviar with blinis, quails in pastry cases, cheeses, and a rum baba with raisins and figs, accompanied by Amontillado sherry, Veuve Cliquot champagne, Clos de Vougeot burgundy, port with the cheese and coffee with the rum baba. You also get a copy of the DVD to take home. What a perfect date!”
Here’s the best part: “When you book your reservation, mention DateSpaces.com and you and your date will receive a complimentary glass of brandy at meal’s end.” Or, for you Frau Blücher types, we bet they’d even whip you up a glass of Ovaltine if you prefer.
Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.
2. This Week at The Daily Dater
Mr. Online Dating Matches submits that girls love guys who seem fun and carefree. Not to be confused with funboys** (though some gals are into that, too.)
3. Closing Koan
Which is more depressing: seeing a stripper tell a joke or seeing a comic strip?
We love you so much, we’d give you our money and our funny paper!
The DateSpaces.com Team
xoxox
*Yes, that’s a cheap shot. But there’s no comic strip that’s less funny.
**n. A stylish guy, of indeterminate sexual orientation. Basically, your classic “metrosexual.” -urbandictionary.com.
