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I went to Starbucks a few nights ago to get my usual nightly cup of coffee (night owl here). It was 8pm on a Friday night and the coffee shop was pretty packed so there was an unusual 10 minute wait to get my drink. As I was waiting for my café latte to be made ready, I happened to notice a guy and a girl sitting right next to me. They both appeared to be in their mid 20’s. The guy was slouched down in his seat and his every body movement made him look like he was a robot. The girl on the other hand looked like she was mentally checked out of the conversation he was trying to have with her.

Now I realize that snooping in on other people’s conversations is something that really isn’t smiled upon in society, but I was bored and there was really nothing to do while I was waiting for the new Barista trainee to finish screwing up a simple iced coffee drink. After a few seconds of selective hearing, I determined that both of them were out on a first date. It also turns out that they had met each other online. Both guy and girl were reasonably good looking and I thought they both looked like (from a shallow physical level) they were “well within each other’s leagues”. So why then did the girl look like she wanted to escape that conversation by any means necessary?

I honestly don’t know. Maybe he told her he is a card carrying member of NAMBLA. Maybe he told her he likes to burn small furry animals for fun. I would however venture a guess that her lack of interest in the conversation was based (in part) upon the guy’s body language. Here is what I witnessed the guy doing wrong:

1. Slouched in his seat
2. His body movements (hands etc) were jerky and fast…not natural at all.
3. He had a hard time looking her in the eyes
4. He stuttered and stammered and spoke really fast.
5. He was staring at her breasts every 20 seconds (and so was I…so this is pretty much all I witnessed. I’m sure there was more).

In case you are too lazy to do some online research on body language, here are 5 things you need to keep in mind while out on the first few dates with a girl:

1. Tone of voice
2. Body posture when sitting in a seat as well as walking
3. Keep your chin up and never look at the ground like you are unsure
4. Keep your arm and leg movements slow.
5. Do not in any way shape or form cross your arms over your chest. This signifies that you are not opening up yourself to her.

Pay careful attention to your body language when you are out on the first few dates with a girl. Women pick up on body language very quickly and can easily tell a great deal about you by your actions and non-verbal communications. It can mean the difference between a second date or a swift kick in the balls. There are many self help websites out there that are dedicated to helping you improve your body language, or at the very least, keeping it in check.