Most of you guys are pretty fluent when it comes time to picking up chicks in a bar. This little FAQ is designed for the guys who constantly find themselves coming home empty-handed after a night out at the bars. There are hundreds of websites out there devoted to picking up women and I’m going to skip over all of that stuff. I personally think it doesn’t work and is a waste of your time/energy and money. Instead of practicing your “keno” you should instead be practicing your interpersonal communication skills. All the “game” in the world can’t hold a candle to someone who knows how to talk to women without all the sappy mind games involved. I’m writing this article on-the-fly and have no idea how many pointers I’m going to be giving out. Just random thoughts/musings from my observations while out on any given weekend at the local bars.
1. Desperation
Women can smell desperation a mile away. Even though you think you are looking calm, cool and collective at the bar….if the confidence isn’t there then your subconscious will take over and start telling your body things to do to make yourself feel more comfortable in a social situation (or at least what you think is “comfortable”….hands in your pockets, sipping your drink rapidly, etc). This in and of itself comes off as desperation. Women DESPISE desperation because there is no added value to their life with a desperate guy. Women tend to view men how men view cars….If I gave you $100,000 and set you loose in an automall (with the instructions that you have to buy a car, and whatever money is left over goes back to me), which dealership would you go to first? I’m pretty sure that you would skip over the Hyundai and Honda dealerships and mosey on over to the good folks at BMW or Mercedes. Same things goes for good looking women….why should they choose you, Mr. Desperation? ….Hands in your pockets, looking nervously around, fumbling with your words, chasing them around the bar trying in desperation to find something to say to them and when you do….it’s some dumb ass shit.
2. Confidence
You can’t have total and complete confidence until you are happy with yourself….which brings us to self esteem. Guys with low self esteem will let women walk all over them and that’s a sign of weakness. In order to develop confidence, you must first accept yourself for who you are and start liking yourself. Another way to instantly develop a bit more confidence while out at a bar is to control your breathing rate. Think back to the last time you tried to spit some game to a female….did you know what you were saying to her, or did you constantly stutter and put your foot in your mouth? Was your heart racing a mile a minute and breathing was more labored than normal? All signs of nervousness and can be interpreted as lack of confidence. The next time you go out, prior to walking up to that cute girl you see sitting across the way, take 10 minutes and start breathing deeply. Long deep breaths, in and out. Soon you will have calmed yourself down to the point where conversation with that girl will come as second nature. Then you can use your “keno” tactics or whatever bullshit the $99.99 “Pickup Artist” dvd that you bought told you to do. (hot tip: Don’t try to spit that bullshit game to a girl that I’m after in a bar….time and time again I will come out with the girl and/or her number and leave you and your “wingman” going home empty handed)
3. Location, location, location
Try getting to the bar an hour or two prior to the rush. The local bar out where I live starts getting packed around 10pm. I get there about 8:30 for an appetizer.
I promptly take a seat at the bar and sit. Once the rush starts coming, it’s kind of hard not to talk to the women who are brushing their asses up against you while ordering a drink. The only problem here is when you gotta take a leak. If you got a buddy or two with you, most of the time they can save your seat….it works best if your buddy looks and acts like a total shit-kicker. Nobody is going to give him any grief over saving a seat. If you are by yourself, then find a semi-dumpy looking chick, tap her on the shoulders and smile at her. Tell her that you have to goto the bathroom and if she saves your seat you will buy her a drink. Exchange seats, get up and go do your business. When you come back, take your seat and buy the boog-a-woof a drink and then turn your back to her.
Problem solved.
4. Bouncers
Bouncers should be treated as rock stars. As such, a $20 (at the very least) should be slipped into their pockets “for doing a bang-up job” everytime you go to that particular bar. Make yourself well known (in a good way) to the local bouncers and they will take care of you when the time comes.
5. Bartenders/waitresses
Just like the bouncers, take good care of your bartenders/waitresses. I was at a local bar in Vegas last year and screwing around with the slot machine on the bar. I won a $500 jackpot and tipped the bartender $250. I came back about a year later and sure enough that same bartender was working and sure enough she remembered me. My entire party drank for free that night. Think back to the old school mob days…..everything ran smoothly because everyone was taken care of.
5 good tips on how to be more successful at a bar. As with anything in life, practice makes perfect. If you find yourself constantly failing at picking up women at the bars, try stepping down one notch and start going to coffee shops. Tons of women are to be found at any given coffee/book shop on the weekends. This way, you won’t be under the influence of alcohol and will be better able to practice your game in a sober state of mind.
