A few years ago, on my second date, my future wife and I went out to an Italian restaurant. The check came and I was ready to tip my customary “twice the tax.” Before I did so, however, I asked her what she usually tips, just to get the 411. Mind you, she used to waitress in college, so she’s quite sensitive to matters concerning what members of the service industry makes. Without batting an eye, she said, “Twenty percent.”

Had I gone ahead with my lower tipping plan, she might have thought I was a complete cheapskate. So here’s a tip for all you daters who are thinking about their budgets right now: if you have someone you think might be worth a long-term relationship, don’t cut corners. It doesn’t just apply to tipping at a restaurant. Don’t just think of cheap options when considering dates. Think of your potential mate as a long-term investment in a volatile stock. If you spend the money and prove you can provide for both yourself and your future family, it’s a definite plus.

Even in the 21st century, where gender roles have melted away and both men and women are providing income, I think women still want to feel that their guy will spend on them, no matter what the circumstance is. If you’re willing to spend that extra few bucks on a tip paying for an expensive meal, you’re showing that if she’s in need, you’ll be there financially.

Obviously, if you’re under a tight budget, you can make the changes elsewhere. Bring your lunch to work instead of buying it during the day. Go out less with your buddies. There’s easy ways to generate the money for a potential mate if you see that possible future with her.

About five months into the relationship, a friend of mine invited us to his annual wine tour. I wondered what could go wrong with inviting my girlfriend, a title we had just recently agreed on. I envisioned a weekend spent in the sun, acting like I knew a thing or two about the complex flavors in a pinot noir, joking around with friends and a night spent away from it all afterwards. She would get to know my friends and vice versa, and we’d spend a nice weekend together.

Not so much. Here’s problem number one: turns out my friends who invited their friends, who were more into the idea of getting plastered than tasting wine, which in turn led to some crazy behavior, which in turn spoiled the romantic atmosphere. Oops. And while my pals did get to hang out with my sweetie and chat, having to do so while under the serious influence of a buttery chardonnay or five was not conducive to fascinating topics. Double oops. Add that to the fact that we didn’t stay in a hotel that night and instead crashed on a friend’s floor on an air mattress. Strike three. She spent the car ride back in complete silence, which I knew meant that she wasn’t exactly pleased with the weekend. At least I got something right.

The most important lesson, however, is in the biggest error: this was our first weekend away together. We were both living with our parents and didn’t get to see each other that often. The chance to get an entire weekend to ourselves was rare at the time. Later on, we’d make stops in Newport and the North Fork of Long Island (ironically, a beautiful place to taste wine!), but my plea with readers is to make your first trip away one without your pals. I’d also throw out a number for the amount of months before inviting your significant other on a trip with your friends: Twelve, especially if she hasn’t gotten to know them that well yet.

That said, I hear Napa’s beautiful this time of year…

Full disclosure: I’ve been married for all of two months now. And I’ve got the secret to dating success. Actually, it’s one of many of the tips that got me where I am (otherwise, I wouldn’t have another column after this one!). But it’s one of the more important things you’ll hear me suggest:

Date Night.

I heard you just now. “Oh, so unoriginal!” “I’ve heard that one before!” But think about it. For those of you in long-term relationships, have you established one night a week that’s just yours?

The wife and I have established that Friday nights as our night together and I’d highly recommend using that day of the week as yours as well. About 95% of the New York City population is too pooped from work during the week to do anything. So it’s a night when there’s usually little to nothing your friends have planned besides a night in front of the TV, catching up on what they TiVo’d during the week. Saturday nights are more of a “party with your friends” night, right? But let’s say someone has a birthday party on a Friday or it’s the only time your parents are free for a visit. Just make sure and plan a different night ahead of time.

Now that you have your night established, the sky’s the limit. Take her out for dinner in a different neighborhood than where you live. Try a restaurant you’ve heard about (perhaps from our award-winning “DateSpace of the Week” column?), which will make for better conversation than, “Ugh, work was crazy this week.” After that, take a stroll around the area and grab dessert or a post-dinner drink.

This is where we at DateSpaces can help you out. Dinner and movie is fine for most couples, but after you’ve been with someone for a while, keep things original and spice it up! Search our date-abase and think about something fresh to try. How about a jazz show in the Village? Or perhaps a piece of funky theater is more adventurous and to your liking. Don’t let the words “Off-Off-Broadway” scare you. Hey, if you hate it, you’ll have a lot to laugh about on your way home.

The point here is that going out on dates shouldn’t stop after you’ve gotten comfortable enough with your significant other. And while it’s sometimes hard to find the time when life is busy, scheduling one night a week will keep the sparks flying and at least one night together away from everyone else.