Feel like no one ever notices you–like you’re not catching any eyes the way you want to? Well, we could all use a little help standing out. Here’s an idea: suspenders. You know, like the red ones firefighters wear to keep their pants up? Totally underrated.

I should know. I wore them to work today for the first time ever, and what a response! I got so many looks you’d think I was in a commercial for those razors with like 17 blades. And people talked to me like they never have before–like, calling me, “Sir,” and saying stuff like, “Damn it all, Frank, you mean to tell me that you’ve gone and bungled the whole account?” which is really cool because I work at an education policy research non-profit and my name is Eric.

I had all these weird urges, too. Like, I kept asking people to take a letter for me and describing things as “top-drawer” and wanting to light cigarettes for people. Frankly, (if you will) I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so alive.

Sure, I may have drawn some comparisons to Steve Urkel, but then I also have a penchant for yodeling and playing the accordion–plus the fact that my catch phrase is, “Did I do that?”–so you have to control for that. And, yes, comments about my “braces” did send me into a temporary, Pavlovian, self-conscious shame spiral–invoking my days of prepubescent orthodontia.

But in the end, I say any attention is good attention. So if you’re looking for a way to garner some glances, I highly recommend the suspenders look. And it totally works for ladies, too–if there’s one thing we learned from Annie Hall, it’s that classic men’s apparel looks great on gals (or at least on a young Diane Keaton.) Try it for a night and see how they hold up.

Can’t find them in stores? No problem. Just do what I did–steal a pair from your grandpa.

1. DateSpace of the Week
Our DateSpace of the Week this week is The Palm, a long-time favorite of banker types and a perfect place to try out your new suspenders. Hey, it worked for Michael Douglas in Wall Street.

And since some execs are now enduring salaries as low as a measly $500k, The Palm is offering a great deal to attract new customers and retain regulars: “A surf and turf dinner (lobster tail and steak for the layman) for two people for only $89!” (Coupon here.) Maybe greed is good–without it, the financial market wouldn’t be in the tank and we’d probably never have access to these absurd savings!

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

Mr. Online Dating Matches on the importance of body language. I don’t want to beat a dead horse (I mean, what a terribly gruesome pastime) nor do I wish to repeat myself over and over and over, but a nice pair of suspenders can really do wonders for your posture…

Happy Dating!

The DateSpaces.com Team

xoxox

This week we offer some mixology advice to keep you on the level. One of our tips was inspired by a (very) recently learned lesson. Can you guess which?

Tip 1: Don’t order a White Russian on a date, unless you want breath harsher than General Winter. What’s good for the Dude is not always good for you.

Tip 2: Speaking of “dudes,” don’t order anything with the word “bomb” in its title–ever–unless it’s Saint Patrick’s Day.

Tip 3: And speaking of the Irish, don’t let anyone ever tell you Baileys Irish Cream can’t go bad. Because, Brothers and Sisters, it can. Oh, Lord, it can.

1. DateSpace of the Week
Our DateSpace of the Week this week is Casa La Femme: “one of the few legitimate establishments in the city that features the ancient Arabian art form known as belly-dancing and also has immaculate bathrooms.” Oh, and they also have delicious Middle Eastern food.

Tip 4: Try the fig martini (and make sure to pay at least some attention to your date).

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

Mr. Online Dating Matches explains how to introduce your new girlfriend to your old friends.

Tip 4: Don’t mix old friends, new girlfriends, and alcohol.

Happy Dating!

The DateSpaces.com Team

xoxox

***If you are interested in sponsoring a future issue of Thursdates, please email us at info@datespaces.com***

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Dear DateSpacers,

This is the best week we’ve had in, well, weeks. We got a new President and a new episode of Flight of the Conchords, we finally mastered the Soulja Boy dance, and we made it to our 50th issue of Thursdates! And–to top it all off–we just learned this great news! 

So join us for some serious percolating up in this dancery. Oh, and no haters, please. At DateSpaces.com we do it all for love like Color Me Badd.

1. DateSpace of the Week
This week’s DateSpace of the Week is Stella Maris–which, of course, is Latin for “Star of the Sea,” which, incidentally, is in turn a perfect blend of the tuna brand names StarKist and Chicken of the Sea.

Well, believe it or not, the Seaport’s Stella Maris is so good that it manages to be better than all brands of canned tuna combined, including Bumble Bee: “The dark earth-toned atmosphere is hip but not cold, and the friendly, knowledgeable, and quite attractive waitstaff provides the perfect backdrop to complement your [delicious] meal.”

Been on a really great date lately?  Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.  

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

Mr. Online Dating Matches provides advice for New Year’s Resolutions, 

’cause it’s never to late to set goals you won’t keep

Happy Dating!

The DateSpaces.com Team

xoxox

Brrrsdates, Issue 49

***If you are interested in sponsoring a future issue of Thursdates, please email us at info@datespaces.com***

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Baby, it’s cold outside!

No doubt about it, winter is upon us. From where I’ma settin’ here in Columbus, Ohio, it’s currently -5 degrees (-24 with the wind chill). Not 5. -5. That’s what I like to call, “stupid cold” (or, for you Spaceballs fans, “ludicrous cold.”) Granted, I see that in NYC right now it’s about 15 degrees, but that’s hardly balmy.

I can’t stand the stinking cold. So–Fraulein-Maria style–I came up with a list of the “coolest” things in the world, from pasta brand (Brrrrtolini’s) to USA Original Series (Brrrn Notice). Here’s what I’ve got so far:

THE WORLD’S COOLEST:
1. Ponzi Schemer: Brrrnard Madoff
2. Four Tops Song: Brrrnadette
3. World-Renowned Ballet Dancer Turned Sex & The City Cast Member: Brrryshnikov
4. Adjective to Describe Lumberjacks and Old-Timey Weight-Lifters: Brrrly
5. Former Cleveland Browns Starting Quarterback: Brrrnie Kosar
6. Italian Prime Minister: Brrrlusconi

7. Tabloid Moniker for Sesame Street’s Favorite Couple: Brrrnie (Brrrt & Ernie)

Try it yourself–it’s unbrrrievably effective!

This week’s DateSpace of the Week is Hill Country a BBQ joint where, “[t]he variety of food and drink is abundant, and you’ll be encouraged to share, always a plus in our book. With its long community tables and gentlemanly clientele, the restaurant perfects a laid-back yet rockin’ vibe, especially on nights when live Southern tuneage graces the restaurant’s downstairs stage.”

1. DateSpace of the Week
Plus, they’ve got the best brrrsket in town!

Been on a really great date lately?  Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.  

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

Mr. Online Dating Matches explains that getting shot down is just part of the game. Brrrutal, but true.

 

Happy Dating!

The DateSpaces.com Team

xoxox

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We apologize if we seem a little anxious, but who could blame us? Have you been following New Yorker contributor James Surowiecki’s commentary on the likelihood of a world without the print edition of the New York Times [also here]? The prospect is just terrifying. Without the print edition of the Times, how will we get through our Sunday hangovers? And what of all the smug college kids who subscribe so they can show their peers just how worldly they are? What’s to become of them and their form of literary conspicuous consumption? And what of the slogan, “All the news that’s fit to print”? Hello!?!

But the worst thing about losing the print newspaper would, without a doubt, be bidding adieu to the comics. There’s nothing funny about losing the funnies. Not only do newspaper comic strips offer entertainment from the side-splittingly hilarious (see: Family Circus*) to the deliciously enthralling (Apartment 3-G, anyone? Is there anything more tantalizing than blue hair?), but they also provide invaluable information.

How? If you want to learn a lot about a person–say, a new love interest–find out what comics he/she is into. “They can be tremendously revealing,” says Dr. Rocky N. Bolwienkell, professor of Sex and Comic Studies at Wossamotta University, “A quick scan of their refridgerator for cutouts of their favorite comics may tell you more about a potential mate than months of dating.”

Here’s what Dr. Bolwienkell says about some of the most popular strips in syndication:

1. Peanuts - The (Truly) Hopeless Romantic: A favorite of earnest, sincere people who–despite spells of melancholia–maintain a hopeful, if overambitious outlook. “Every lover of Peanuts has an enigmatic Little Red-Haired Girl to whom he is endearingly, yet hopelessly devoted.”

2. Calvin and Hobbes – The Don Quixote: Adored by those who are playful and imaginative (often inventive in the bedroom–though at times more interested in, say, building a pillow fort than in the Kama Sutra) but ultimately impossible to hold on to. “Sooner or later they favor their secret worlds of wonder to any romantic relationship,” warns Bolwienkell. Also, count on them to have a co-dependent, platonic relationship with a Best Bud, from whom they are inseparable.

3. Garfield – The Loafer: Good luck getting a Garfield lover out of the house. First loves: food and naps (and Pooky). Probably not a good bet if you’re at all enthusiastic about life, either. “The overeating, the lack of initiative, the agoraphobia–it’s all about self-esteem,” says Bolwienkell, “He [or she] will never love another until he learns to love himself.”

4. The Far Side – The Nerd: Far Siders are almost invariably smart, geeky, and impatient. “Their love of the single frame is an apt metaphor for their attention span and endurance.” May have a caveman, alien, or cow fetish.

5. Cathy – The Cathy: Run!

1. (A Very Special) DateSpace of the Week
Our DateSpace of the Week this week is Cafe des Artistes, “the beloved Upper West Side restaurant,” which, on Monday, January 12, “will recreate the menu featured in the 1987 Danish Film Babette’s Feast. The menu at Cafe des Artistes will feature such olde fare as tortoise soup, caviar with blinis, quails in pastry cases, cheeses, and a rum baba with raisins and figs, accompanied by Amontillado sherry, Veuve Cliquot champagne, Clos de Vougeot burgundy, port with the cheese and coffee with the rum baba. You also get a copy of the DVD to take home. What a perfect date!”

Here’s the best part: “When you book your reservation, mention DateSpaces.com and you and your date will receive a complimentary glass of brandy at meal’s end.” Or, for you Frau Blücher types, we bet they’d even whip you up a glass of Ovaltine if you prefer.

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

Mr. Online Dating Matches submits that girls love guys who seem fun and carefree. Not to be confused with funboys** (though some gals are into that, too.)

3. Closing Koan

Which is more depressing: seeing a stripper tell a joke or seeing a comic strip?

We love you so much, we’d give you our money and our funny paper!

The DateSpaces.com Team

xoxox

*Yes, that’s a cheap shot. But there’s no comic strip that’s less funny.

**n. A stylish guy, of indeterminate sexual orientation. Basically, your classic “metrosexual.” -urbandictionary.com.

It’s New Year’s Day, but not all is quiet at DateSpaces.com! We’re starting off the year with a bang that would make William Hung blush. Our resolution: to remain the #1 site for New York City dating. And just as sure as the ball will drop in Times Square this time next year, you can bet that DateSpaces.com will not drop the ball in bringing you the best of dating in NYC in 2009!*

1. DateSpace of the Week
To kick off the new year, our DateSpace of the Week is Gyu-Kaku–home of the best Japanese BBQ in town. We know you’re probably thinking, “Japanese BBQ? What’s next? Japanese baseball?” Or, a la Marge Simpson, you may suspect that Japanese BBQ is much like American BBQ, only smaller and more efficient.

In fact, Japanese BBQ at Gyu-Kaku is not only delicious but makes for a perfect date: “Think hibachi without the chef. Each table at Gyu-Kaku has a sunken barbecue pit in the middle. You order a few 4-ounce portions of meat, seafood, and veggies, and just grill away. It’s gimmicky, for sure, but it’s also a lot of fun, and Zagats gives the food a 23, so you know its tasty fare.”

Our insider tip: Request to sit at the tables for two in the front of the restaurant. Otherwise you’ll likely be sent to the back of the restaurant with all the families and huge tables which place your date far, far away from you. Oh, and Gyu-Kaku is also great for double dates.

By the way, FYI, Gyu-Kaku translates as “bull’s-horn,” which, of course, we learned watching the Japanese dubbed version of The Breakfast Club.

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

Letty counsels a gal getting the Long Distance Runaround. Don’t worry, says Letty. You may take a Roundabout way to love, but give it time. You won’t be the Owner of a Lonely Heart forever.**

Also, Mr. Online Dating Matches proclaims pick up lines don’t work: “Sometimes the best ‘opening line’ to say to a female is nothing more than ‘hi!’ (just make sure you’re smiling).”

If you must use a pick up line, you could always take the Akon route and use the word “notice” as many times as possible. Best reserved for females you deem “dangerous.” Another winner: “Are you Jeff Goldblum? ‘Cause you are so fly.” Could it be any sexier?

Happy New Year (and Dating)!

The DateSpaces.com Team

xoxox

*Nor will our jokes be any less laborious.

**Yes! That makes three art/prog rock song references already this year. 2009 is going to be the best year ever!! (Forgive me, Letty.)

This is the most work we’ve ever done on Christmas, so we hope you appreciate it:

1. DateSpace of the Week
Our DateSpace of the Week this week is Leisure Time Bowl, an alley at the Port Authority Bus Terminal with “a striking sushi bar (no joke), colorful cocktails, a client list of major celebs and Fortune 500 companies, and the same reasonable rates by New York City bowling standards that it has always had.”

Note to males: Try a bowl-themed date–bowling at Leisure Time coupled with watching your favorite college football bowl game. If your date goes for it, you’ve got yourself a keeper.

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

A holiday hiatus this week for Letty Livingston, but the other lovely L-squared in our lineup, Liz Levine, brings us the Top 10 “Holidates” in NYC.

And moving one letter ahead in the alphabet, Man Made presents: Pickup Tricks (part one).

May your dates be merry and bright!

The DateSpaces.com Team

xoxox

It’s been an exciting and joyful year for the DateSpaces family! We’ve had lots of love and much to be grateful for!

First, while some in our family are committed to making the Yuletide gay, Charles was married in July! We’re so proud of him! The wedding was beautiful and went off without a hitch. (Well, just one hitch! Get it? Oh, I’m so bad!) And to think Mommy and Daddy never thought he’d leave the nest!

Little Larry is all grown up, too!* Can you believe it? He is engaged to be married next year! This is a big, big relief for all of us as you can imagine. After all that time worrying about the terrible shame he would bring to our family–what a blessing!

And Chris is getting to be a big boy himself. He lost his first (and second through eleventh) tooth this year! He says it’s all thanks to his new friend–but I’ve never met her. You know Chris and his imaginary friends. I think he said this one’s name is Crystal Beth. Adorable!

Finally, Eric will NOT be doing jail time for his indecent exposure charge from the whole “Nakey Ring Toss” stunt he pulled at the 34th-Street Dunkin Donuts last April. We were thankful for the court’s mercy, given Eric’s well-established pattern of behavior. (Remember when he first showed us his “Ned the Nakey Human Tripod” trick at Christmas in 1997? That little rascal!) The judge said that he believed that Eric understands now that it’s not a toy, and hopes that he can find some other way of expressing himself. He’s a creative little guy!

Well, that about sums it up for our family. Please find the attached holiday portrait of our boys. We finally got them to all stand still for the picture this year–and this time no tears! Left-to-right, that’s Chris, Larry, Eric, and Charles. Don’t they look handsome?

Wishing you all the best this holiday season,

Doris DateSpaces
xoxox

p.s.:

1. DateSpace of the Week
This week’s DateSpace of the Week is Nick and Toni’s Cafe: “Brick ovens, painted frescoes, and Tuscan charm have made this intimate Italian restaurant a hit…[on] the Upper West Side.”

Visit on a Sunday or Monday night, “when they have a special that you would think was designed by a DateSpacer…For $28 per person, you get a 3-course meal and a movie ticket.” Some people would call that cliché. We call those people pretentious jerks.

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater
A “Confounded Christmas Shopper” asks Letty what gift to get his sweetheart for the holidays. Her advice? Think outside the box, but not too hard.

Speaking of boxes, if you’re still looking for the perfect present, here’s one that is SURE to work like a charm. Naturally it’s one of Eric’s perennial favorites.

3. Coming Soon

PlayDates, the Holiday Edition!

*Well, he’s still little in stature–the doctors say there’s only so much that experimental hormone therapy can do. But we love him anyway, bless his heart!

Our Thursday Puzzle this week comes from DateSpaces.com’s own Derek “Eat my Shortz, Will” Blackton.

Provide two rhyming words to appropriately fill in the blanks in the following love-related sentence:

If you put a ring on ______, she’d be your ______.

This one’s pretty easy–we’re sure that anyone with a radio Knowles the answer.

First correct response gets a standard set of public-broadcasting-worthy prizes: a canvas DateSpaces.com tote bag, a cumbersome reference book of some kind, this great Carmen watch,* and a date with Carl Kasell.**

1. DateSpace of the Week
Our DateSpace of the Week this week is Sweetiepie: “a brand new dessert joint in the West Village, [which] serves another obscure alcohol that is making a smashing debut in the U.S., now that it has been legalized. We are referring, of course, to…absinthe.”

Never had absinthe? Think Rimbaud meets Ecto Cooler meets black licorice (as if those things weren’t already obviously related.)

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

Letty’s advice for a former Bad Boy seeking a Chaste Church Lady. Hey, to each his own, but show us where the Good Book says, “Thou shalt not get freakay.”

Also, Mr. Online Dating Matches on if and when to call. Whatever you decide, just remember that, timing aside, one message is probably enough.

Coming up: our Top 10 Stores for Holiday Shopping!

[Support for Thursday Edition comes from the Donald D. Daitor Charitable Trust--dedicated to finding and fighting the causes of bad dates. On the Web at www.dddct.org.]

*Anyone?.
**Mr. Kasell has not confirmed his participation, but we hear his nickname in college was Carl Kasanova.

Busybody Boy here, and have I got some delicious dirt for you! Spotted: primo advice for your elite dating lifestyle–free of charge, but worth a fortune. Believe me, this stuff’s sweeter than revenge.

1. DateSpace of the Week
The DateSpace of the Week this week: Center Cut–the latest from China Grill management–for delectable dining so fine you’ll forget you’re on the West side. Make sure you get there quick… this place is sure to rise in popularity faster than Little J. As you know, no good secret stays secret for long…

Been on a really great date lately? Suggest next week’s DateSpace of the week by emailing eric@datespaces.com.

2. This Week at The Daily Dater

Letty counsels a socialite on dating downward. Ah, the perils of pedigree. Good luck, Sweetie. Break the Code of Class and you might just be in for a bloodbath. Here’s hoping that, underneath, your man’s is blue.

Also, Mr. Man Made suggests five dates under $50, which I guess is fine if you don’t mind slumming it…

How do I get all the insider info? I have my sources. And who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell…*

You know you love me,

XOXO
Busybody Boy
(a/k/a The DateSpaces.com Team)

*And daters from elsewhere, I guess.
**Unless, of course, you have looks and/or money, in which case feel free to contact me. Strings attached? Like a marionette.